We all have something we want to do, something we want to own, some where we want to go. These are our dreams. It is what we hope for and what we hope to become. Very importantly, one has to believe they can achieve whatever they want. Self- confidence is the key. It is the power that lies within us letting us know that we can do anything we put our hearts and minds to. That inner voice we have to listen to. It is always reassuring us that regardless of the current conditions, we will make it.
In order to be successful, you need to be self- confident. People who lack self- confidence find it difficult to become great in their lives. ‘’you can have anything you want if you will give up the belief that you can’t have it.’’ – Robert Anthony.
Mainly, two things contribute to self- confidence; self- efficacy and self- esteem. Self- efficacy is the sense we gain when we see ourselves (and others similar to ourselves) mastering skills and achieving goals that matter in those skill areas. This gives us the confidence that, if we learn and work hard in a particular area, we’ll succeed; it’s this type of confidence that leads people to accept difficult challenges, and persist in the face of setbacks.
This overlaps with the idea of self- esteem, which is a more general sense that we can cope with what’s going on in our lives, and what we have right to always be happy. It partially comes from a feeling of approval from those around us, which may or may not be in our control. However, it also comes from the sense that we are behaving virtuously, that we’re competent successfully when we put our minds to it.
Building self- confidence is very achievable although time is one of the essence. It is a journey that you need to prepare yourself for.
Decide what is important to you
‘’our lives are frittered away by detail… simplify, simplify’’- Henry David Thoureau. We have so much stuff in our possessions to things we need to do to information coming in to visual and emotional clutter, that we are overloaded. The result? We end up doing a lot of things that aren’t really important to us, because we have so much other stuff to do that has crept into our lives and that we leave in our lives, unexamined.
Socrates said, ‘’the unexamined life is not worth living.’’ Well, Socrates must have been an excellent simplifier- as evidenced by the fact that he just wore a robe and sandals. In any case, in order to simplify our lives, we must examine our lives. What is important, and do all the things in our lives give us value? This is the question to ask.
You have to think about and decide what is important to you. This is vital because if you don’t know where you are going, you will not get there. Even if you do, you won’t know that you have arrived.
Manage your mind.
Managing your mind is another tool you need to equip yourself with when building your confidence. One needs to take full control of their mind because our thoughts become our actions. Believing that you can do things will go a long way in helping you achieve them because most of who we are is due to our thoughts. You need to think positively as well as believe in yourself and abilities. To have a positive mental attitude, you must develop a solid, success- oriented, ‘’I can…I will’’ philosophy. You can’t develop this attitude overnight or turn it on and off whenever there is something you want. A positive mental attitude must become an ingrained habit.
The one thing in your life you can command is your own mind. Whatever negative people and situations you face, you can always choose a positive attitude.
Commit yourself to succeed.
Research has shown that one of the most important keys to success is making a commitment to succeed. To commit means to follow it through to completion, at all costs. A commitment to build your confidence is a promise to yourself to achieve it, no matter what.
A commitment creates a powerful force within to fulfil it. In this case, we are talking about making a commitment to our own confidence success.
I learnt about commitment in art class. The instructor said, ‘’once your pencil is on the page, don’t lift it off until you are finished.’’ I thought, what if it doesn’t look right? I later realized it wasn’t so much a lesson on drawing as it was a lesson on commitment.
Insights about self- confidence.
Learn what a self- confident person is really like. They are not cocky, know- it- all, people who don’t care what anybody else thinks. They have their doubts. And make mistakes. Are far from perfect. However, they are willing to acknowledge their inadequacies without dwelling on them. They do this by maintaining a sense of humor. They put problems in perspective, and focus mainly on what they have done right, not wrong.
Though self- confident people do believe in themselves, they don’t try to suffocate others with their ideas or beliefs. They are confident in what they know not only because they read, learn and think but also because they respect their instinct, intuition and the unique body of knowledge that they have developed by living life. They realize that one doesn’t have to be labelled an ‘’expert’’ to believe in one’s own truths.
Self- confident people don’t undermine their own worth by comparing themselves with others, only to conclude that they aren’t ‘’good enough.’’ They appreciate their strengths and accomplishments and can acknowledge, without embarrassment, their weaknesses. They don’t live in the ‘victim’ position. Even if something really bad has occurred, they turn it into a challenge, remembering to be grateful for the little things in life.
Self- confident people let the world know who they are. If they want something badly enough, they know they have every right to ‘go for it.’ Yet, they also the path will rarely be easy. Mistakes, blunders and failures are part of the learning process. They seek to learn from their mistakes and do not waste time torturing themselves about what ‘could have been done.’
Self- confident people are not obstinate people. If they have an idea about something and it differs from the way another person is thinking about it, they will usually try to look at it from that person’s point of view, see why it makes sense to them. Yet, a confident person’s sense of self is grounded. It does not blow in the wind. Their ideas do not fluctuate based on what others deem are important.
SOURCE: SUMMITBUSINESS MAGAZINE: VOL.08 ISSUE 15August 2016